This post originally appeared on Sarah's personal blog Going Starfishing, it was part of the inspiration for creating Little Birdie Love...
i know it seems odd, now that the sun is finally shining and we are waking each day to birds chirping through open windows to be talking about the grey days…
but i suppose, that’s how it happens-
sometimes, those grey days are so very dark
that it takes all we have
to get through them
and get up… and do it all again
that we don’t realize until we are on the other side
my silence here over the past months
has not been for a lack of wanting to write and create
but day after dreary day i found myself
tired, lonely, sad, uninspired, scared…
it’s not pretty. any of it. but that it where i’ve been.
ignoring emails, dodging friend’s phone calls and canceling plans.
not a new england soul was spared of the hell that was winter 2014-15.
THAT is true
and i am so very grateful for my little bird, who happily bopped around our kitchen
day after very. long. day…
she got me up each morning with a smile and we baked, and danced and sang, yes!
but in the moments of in-between-
the long grey stretches of hours spent in our stale kitchen
it was then
that my mind wandered and worried and wondered…
i’ve been told, and read and re-read that there is no roadmap for loss and it’s aftermath that just when you think you’ve pulled yourself together
you find yourself all unbuttoned - right in the middle of the grocery store. or a stop light. or your kitchen floor.
it was on this kitchen floor, during one such breakdown, however silent i thought my tears were falling, that my little bird, dug my sneakers from our shoe bin, lugged them over and dropped them in my lap and simply said “SHOOOES, mama!”
because already, she knew- fresh air and a brisk walk- is just what we needed to snap out of a funk.
and we did it. we got through. we’re getting through…
so… i’m still here, and i hope you are too…
spring now very quickly, summer (!) is here…
and this little bird of mine? we’ve got dreams and hopes and sun and adventures to share…
red tail hawk captured by christine chitnis, just outside my studio window, december 2014